Sunday 7th February 2010 16:53

Twenty one years ago, when I was 21 (old fart - Ed), I suddenly realised that my eyesight just wasn't what it was when I was waiting to catch a bus and I really struggled making out its number. A few weeks later, I suffered my one and only migraine, a typical sign of failing eyesight and it was then when I bought my first pair of glasses with a distinctly Lennon-esque shaped frame.
Anyway, the reason I'm talking about eyesight is because of an advert I saw on television during the Chelsea v Arsenal game on Sky Sports 1 this afternoon. Before I continue talking about the advert, Chelsea won 2-0, much to my delight.



The advert was the latest from Specsavers, the largest privately owned opticians in the world, and the market leader in the UK. One in three people in the UK who wear glasses have bought them from Specsavers. The multi-national company is run by founders, Doug and Dame Mary Perkins, where it has more than 1000 stores in Europe and is rapidly expanding in Australia.
To see their latest witty offering, please click on the logo above, alternatively, click here to visit their website.



Later on in the day, I decided that I needed to add six images to my website; not the gallery as such, more in a place where it shows off the images that I have had accepted into exhibitions, won national awards, been published or successful commissioned work. Another good reason is because the six images below were also used in my twenty-minute talk at Havant Camera Club last month.
The new section is some way off, although I have made a good start already. Once all of the pages are in place, I shall link the images above.

Saturday 6th February 2010 14:46

Our original plan, albeit a late decision in the week, was to head off to Alton Beer Festival today, yet there ended up being a few deciding factors that prevented us all from going. In the end, we picked up Damien, Tanya's brother, and headed off to Morrisons to do our weekly shops. With my parents coming down to visit us for a few days during the week, there was more than the usual essentials to buy. Despite it being fecking busy, it was a relatively trauma-free visit, made much easier by stuffing our faces with a scrummy breakfast from the store's café.



Later on in the afternoon, to make up for the disappointment of not heading off to the beer festival, I said to Tanya that a visit to Southwick Brewhouse was on the cards, especially as we're both off this week... always good to have a stock of real ale in the house.
I love visiting the place, always good to have a chat with the owner, talk about real ales and take any advice on what's good. There's always a great rotation of stock as well, so there is always something new to try out. There are very few real ales that I haven't liked and since our tastes seem to be very similar, it's as well to ask.



I ended up buying eight new ones (new to me that is); some from breweries that I'd never tried anything from, others where I knew the brewery and therefore there would be a strong chance of me liking them. The eight ales were: 'Chimera Honey Blonde' by Wiltshire-based Downton Brewery, 'Taiphoon' by Hopback Brewery, also based in Wiltshire, 'Lundy Gold' by Wizard Ales based in the Devonshire town of Ilfracombe, 'Pale Rider' by Sheffield-based Kelham Island Brewery, 'Blake's Heaven' (clever name) by Gosport's own Oakleaf Brewing Co., and then three more ales whose names made me laugh, mainly because I have a distinctly filthy mind... the ales were, 'Old Dick' by Suthwyk Ales, 'Old Shag' by RCH Brewery and finally 'Rumpy Pumpy' by Branded Drinks Partnership.
As you can see, I've selected four of the breweries to provide links to. Please click on any one of them to visit that particular brewery's website.

Friday 5th February 2010 12:48

At the end of another rant of mine, you may wonder how a northerner, with a northern accent, can criticise how people pronounce certain words. Well I can, and I will. There are the annoying ones where letters are added, mixed up or just said totally wrong such as dandruft (dandruff), allergict (allergic), ridiclious (ridiculous) and alcrolic (alcoholic).
One incredibly annoying one that I noticed in the north is when a double T in a word becomes a double K and a double D becomes a double G. Examples of this are likkle, sekkle and kekkle as well as miggle, doggle and riggle. To say it fucks me off is an understatement... who taught these cretinous churls to speak?

In my opinion, the maintainence of pronounciation is critical. That's irony by the way, I was just highlighting another two words that are said consistently incorrectly. The amount of people that think maintain becomes maintainence... it doesn't... it's maintenance. And whilst we're on the subject pronounce becomes pronunciation. Aaarrrggghhh!!! Now is the time to slay a whole village of the inbred variety, clean up the land.



So, why the symbols above? Have you worked out what they are? Well, the first one is a semaphore, the miggle (sorry, couldn't resist) is a signal flag and the latter is braille... the three graphics all representing the same letter - 'H'. Can you see where I'm going with this? People who know how to pronounce things correctly will. The eighth letter in the basic modern Latin alphabet is continually pronounced 'haitch' rather than 'aitch'. There isn't a fucking 'h' at the beginning of its pronunciation and never fucking has been, and what's more disturbing is that 25% of people in the United Kingdom born since the 1980s are now mispronouncing the word. The education system; if the teachers are teaching bollocks, what chance have the children? What's the point of having a language if no twat can be bothered to learn it? Time for a beer...

Thursday 4th February 2010 22:32

Although primitive man made trackways to help him trade with others, roads weren't built as we know them today, until the Romans built their first ever road, the Via Appia, in 312 B.C. Their infrastructure of roads had to be the greatest achievement of their Empire, so much so, many of them were still in use for more than a 1,000 years later.
Originally, their main purpose was for their armies to conquer other countries, giving them the monopoly to travel both quickly and safely until they were then used to simply travel from one city to another.
Following the Roman Conquest, Britain's roads spread out from London, across the country, the main links being London-Lincoln-York, London-Verulamium-Wroxeter/Chester and London-Silchester-Exeter, needless to say, back then, there wasn't a fucking traffic cone in sight, and the only hotline you could 'phone was the Caesar Orgy Hotline.

Anyway, the reason I'm talking about all of this is because whilst at my consultancy job today, there was a large delivery that came on an HGV and the driver was talking about passing his HGV Test and the different routes he takes, so I thought it as well to look up the ancient history of our roads. Even today, some of the routes that Roman roads took are still in use today, none more so than the A46 from Leicester to London and the A5 from St Albans to Wales. As a matter of interest, place names that end in 'chester' often mean that the town or city is of Roman origin for it derives from Latin, meaning 'camp' or 'fortress'.



So, Britain's modern-day equivalent of the Roman road is none other than the Highways Agency and together with the Department for Transport, spearheaded by Rt Hon Lord Andrew Adonis, who is the Secretary of State for Transport. The Highways Agency has a major role in delivering the 'Government's Ten Year Plan for Transport'. It is responsible for operating, maintaining and improving the strategic road network in England - that's what it says they do. In my opinion, they couldn't run a bath, let alone be given the task to 'improve'.

The Secretary of State for Transport could vastly improve Britain's roads by stopping farming fuckers from using major trunk roads in rush hour, banning anyone above the age of 80 from ever getting behind a wheel, teaching women the basic principles of a roundabout and setting up a funeral pyre for traffic cones.
To find out more, please click on the only decent thing related to the Highways Agency... that's their very clever logo above.

Wednesday 3rd February 2010 21:30

News broke out today that Katie Price married cage fighter and Celebrity Big Brother winner, Alex Reid. I just want to stress how despicable I think that woman is. I did a 'Google' search on her earlier and I just hadn't realised how many men she's been linked with. I cannot, for one second, condone how many partners she's had, in some respects it's healthy, nevertheless, it's the way she conducts her so-called 'private' life and then has the audacity to criticise the press for not giving her room to breathe. Stupid twat.

Before she started pissing around with her tits and other parts of her body, she was actually very attractive with breasts of ample proportion. According to reliable sources, she underwent five surgical procedures in the States in just one week; all this to try and improve her looks when she should be concentrating on trying not to be such a fucking gobby bitch. As much as I think that Peter Andre is a bit of a knob, at least he's pleasant, polite and possesses more than an ounce of intelligence, although that has to be debated since he married the synthetic slapper. At least she's dishwasher safe.



It has also been reported that William Hill is taking bets at 10/1 that the happy couple will officially announce their separation by the end of the month... that's some fucked up marriage since February is the shortest month. The sooner it ends, the better for everyone, particularly Alex. Not only is he known for cage fighting, he's also freely admitted to being a cross-dresser... I think I'd prefer to admit that than being married to that heinous harlot.
Anyway, if for some strange reason you find Katie Price endearing, please be sad enough to visit her ghastly website by clicking on the logo above.

Tuesday 2nd February 2010 18:06

I have a serious question today... today's blog is all about erotic photography and the link I'm providing will take you to a huge amount of images that include both female and male genitalia, penetration, oral sex and fetish clothing. Some may be absolutely repulsed by such photography, whereas the majority of shots included in this website are sensual and very tastefully done, particularly the lighting with some of the black and white images.
So the burning question is, is it art or pornography? I see it as art.



Call me a pervert but I'd love to do this sort of photography, not for kicks I hasten to add, it's all about form, angles and light as far as I'm concerned. The one shot that epitomises every single one was taken by photographer Gordon Denman. Rather than show it publicly on here, I'd sooner stick within the restraints of decency and law by providing a link here to view it. You are under no obligation to view, and in doing so, you confirm that you are of the legal age to do so.
To see much more work along a similar style, please click on the eclecticaErotica logo above. If you are under 18, please find something else to look at... not that I did when I was that age...

Monday 1st February 2010 20:22

Based in Barcelona, Spain, GMK free fonts is yet another superb free font site, one with more than just run-of-the-mill fonts and, across the several GMK sites they own, they also offer a free logo site.



Within the site, there is a step-by-step guide showing how to install fonts on both Mac or PC, although the screen shots of the Mac window panes are somewhat antiquated, I'd go as far to say that even at their youngest, they're Mac OS 9.2.2. Anyway, their font tally to-date is 6571 and growing, so I'm sure there will be a font that will suit your design needs.
Please click on the logo above to access the site. At first glance, the logo looks as if that wonderful font 'Times Bold' has been used... in actual fact it's Excelsior Bold. I can be such a boring twat at times. (At times? - Ed).