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THE BLOGGY BIT...

This is where I ramble on about nothing in particular, in the hope that something may strike a chord with you, whether it be graphic design, football or real ale.












Monday 30th November 2009 16:53

Bollocks. Was so hoping I'd feel well enough to work today... unfortunately not. You may think I'm being sarcastic with such a comment but no, I'm not. Two things... one is that I actually love my job and the other important factor is that if I don't work, I don't earn money.

sudafed dual relief

The sleep deprivation was even worse last night, to the point that whenever I lay down, the vast amount of mucus that seems to be gushing around in my head was causing me to choke and become very breathless. Luckily, Abbi managed to keep my stock of 'Sudafed' topped up by popping into the new Tesco Extra at Havant (opened today), so that was an immense help for it has to be the best decongestant around.
Non-Drowsy Sudafed Dual Relief is used for the relief of flu and cold symptoms, including the accompanying headaches, feverishness, nasal and sinus congestion, catarrh and general aches and pains.
Unfortunately, the product's distributor, McNeil Products Ltd., has a website, yet for some reason, it doesn't work, so please click on the Sudafed logo above to visit the United States' Sudafed website instead (and yes, I have noticed the subtle differences in the UK and US logo).

Sunday 29th November 2009 19:38

Why are colds so pathetically pointless? Why do they disrupt your sleep pattern completely, make your breath smell putrid, your eyes water incessantly and generally make you totally down in the dumps? And the thing I want to know the most is, where the hell does all that mucus come from?! I wouldn't mind if it was produced so that it would prevent something crawling up your nose or something, but it isn't, it's just there, constantly dripping so that you're continually blowing or wiping your nose. And it doesn't end there does it? No, because the nose bleeds then start.
I've felt shit all day.

Common Colds are the most common infectious disease in humans and there is no known cure, although they are very rarely fatal. Influenza and the common cold are mistaken for each other, yet the symptoms of influenza often include a fever and are more severe than the cold, which is one of the main reasons why it pisses me off when someone says they have 'flu and are still able to come to work and do regular stuff. Bollocks, influenza fucks you over to the point where you think you're going to die and if you think anything different, you're a twat. Seriously, you are.

rhinovirus

Another thing that pisses me off is the ridiculous belief, still common today, claiming that a cold can be 'caught' by prolonged exposure to cold weather such as rain or wintry conditions which, ironically, is how the virus developed its name. Common colds are seasonal, with more occurring during winter. Experiments so far have failed to produce evidence that short-term exposure to cold weather or direct chilling increases susceptibility to infection. Increased time spent indoors at close proximity to others due to cold weather, is how the virus is far more likely to spread. Strangely enough, lack of sleep plays much more of a part in catching the common cold. Those who sleep fewer than 7 hours per night were three times more likely to develop an infection when exposed to a rhinovirus when compared to those who sleep more than 8 hours per night.
Anyway, one of the bastard rhinoviruses is pictured above.

Saturday 28th November 2009 13:00

Full of a cold. Had a shit night's sleep, struggling to breathe to the point where I thought someone had emptied the Sahara into my mouth due to it being so dry at 3 o'clock this morning. After spending a bit of time on my computer and having a much-needed cup of tea, I finally managed to get back to sleep on the settee, for I just didn't see the point of subjecting Tanya to any more R.E.M. upheaval.

odeon

Later in the day, we'd asked Abbi if she fancied coming to the cinema with us because a film was released mid-November that I'd been looking forward to for some time... '2012'. Yes, it's typically American, yes, it's typically over the top, sickly-sweet and toe-curlingly cheesy in places, yet it was the CGI that was selling it for me. So the three of us whizzed down to the Odeon cinema at Port Solent (midway between Havant and Portsmouth), stopping off for a KFC on the way there.
To find out what's showing at your local Odeon cinema, please click on the logo above.

2012

I have to say, I thought the special effects in the film were just unbelievably awesome and although I hope I never have to witness such catastrophic events, I'd imagine them to be a blueprint of what has been created in the film.
Starring John Cusack, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Amanda Peet, Oliver Platt, Danny Glover Thandie Newton and Woody Harrelson, this film, directed by Roland Emmerich is loosely based on 2012 phenomenon (Google it to find out more). 'Fingerprints of the Gods', a non-fiction book by author Graham Hancockwas used as the inspiration for the film, with the credits citing it.

In a brief synopsis, solar flares cause the Earth's core to heat at an unprecedented rate, to the point where it causes crustal displacement, eventually triggering small earthquakes until Yellowstone National Park erupts as a super volcano and, as scientists predict, megatsunamis that impact every coastline on Earth.
Incredible effects, some of which can be seen by clicking on the 2012 movie logo above. Alternatively, click here to visit the website of the film.

Friday 27th November 2009 13:34

Not for one moment do I think any of my blog readers will encounter temperatures of up to -20°C, however, if the likelihood were to arise, I'll have given you ample opportunity to do something about it. Actually, the main reason (in case you hadn't already guessed) is the fact that the logo below is very sexy indeed. It's a superb example of how simple graphics, colour and fonts can work harmoniously and the logo cleverly mirrors the product.

airdown

Although these products aren't available until January 2010, they have already started marketing them with some superb literature. It was the logo on the compact brochure that caught my eye immediately, making me want to find out more. Basically, AirDown® manufacture jackets, vests and other garments that allow you to blow them up when you're cold and deflate them when you need to cool down. The whole garment has air passages within it that can be inflated using a tube and mouthpiece, if you're ever in need of extra insulation.
The full jacket version is designed to provide protection up to temperatures of -20°C. It has a 20,000mm hydrostatic waterproof head and is breathable up to 15,000 mvp.
Although the garments haven't yet been added to the Result Clothing website, I shall provide a link if you feel it necessary to look into it further!

Thursday 26th November 2009 09:25

I wouldn't ordinarily sing the praises of a rival design company, yet we're poles apart with regards to our potential and existing clientele... for one, anyone who'd be thinking about my business designing a logo or brochure would probably never dream of approaching Brand Union... purely because there would be a colossal difference in cost, although I know I'd be able to guarantee the same level of design capability... blowing my own trumpet, so what?!

brand union

Anyway, Brand Union is a world-class brand agency that can definitely be described as global, for their company comprises of 500 staff with offices on each continent. They created brand identities for American Express, Absolut, Masterfoods, Unilever, Motorola to name a few and helped develop other corporate giants such as Corus, Deloitte and Vodafone.
To find out much more about the company, please click on their logo above.

Wednesday 25th November 2009 19:35

Before the advent of computers, graphic design was a world apart from what it is now. Back in June 1986, I started my first ever job as an artist. The work was hardly groundbreaking, nevertheless, you have to start from the bottom and work up. Obviously computers were around, although the majority of typsetting was MS-DOS based and was always sourced out, unless of course, you fancied using Letraset™ for the more simple work.

As well as all of that (have you quite finished reminiscing?! - Ed), simple tasks like drawing a solid black circle were much more difficult than they are today. Adobe Illustrator just allows you to key in the size of circle (or ellipse), fill it black and the job's done. When I first started, you had to use a ruler, measure and mark the distance required with a sharp pencil and use a set square for your centre point. With a pair of compasses and a Rotring pen, you then drew the circumference of the circle, adjusting it gradually until the line was thick enough and fill the rest of it in by painting it with black ink. Nothing more could be done until the ink was dry.

rotring

Rotring pens were, and still are, superb technical drawing implements. Established as far back as 1928, the company has seen many changes, both with the way their company and products have evolved, as well as having to adapt to the fact that the 1990s saw computer aided design swallow much of what their business catered for.
The German company, based in Hamburg started out as Tintenkuli Handels GmbH and the first product they manufactured was a stylographic pen, similar to a fountain pen, yet the nib was a narrow steel tube instead of a conventional nib. It wasn't until the early 1970s that the company changed their name to Rotring, which derived from 'rot' and 'ring' literally meaning red ring which can be found around the barrels of their pens today, as well as being included in their logo.
Please click on the logo above to find out much more about the company.

Tuesday 24th November 2009 20:31

Do you want the good news or the bad news? The bad news? Good.

Well, since Pompey are well and truly my second team, I have to say that I was gutted, yet not totally shocked, that Paul Hart, Pompey's manager was given the axe tonight. Apparently, he's 'been relieved of his duties', mainly down to the fact that the club has only taken seven points from 13 matches (a possible 39 points). As I stated on my mini match report on Sunday, Pompey certainly put up a fight against Stoke City, yet ended up losing, and the trouble is, they face Manchester United at home this Saturday so they're hardly going to have any respite from their troubled times. It's a dreadful situation for the club and I really do hope they'll be able to fight their way out of it.

blogcake

On a slightly more positive note, my blog celebrated its second birthday on Sunday - I'm a plonker for forgetting anniversaries! If you knew how relatively disorganised I am, you'd be astounded that I have kept this going for so long, yet there's a sense of pride with it, for I almost have a detailed account of where I've been and what I enjoy, plus it also acts as a library for my favourite websites and has quite a few interesting facts along the way as well. One uninteresting fact is that I celebrated my blog being a year old a week after the event and I got away with it until now... sorry blog.

Monday 23rd November 2009 21:14

As you may be aware, it's been one hell of a long time since I added a new photograph to my website but I managed to finish an idea I talked about the other day. Someone had been talking about a set subject, 'Flight', on PhotoPortal, a photography forum I frequent. From that thread, I had an idea about a 'Flight of Stairs', only I'd decided to take it as a play on words.

flight of stairs

Late on Saturday afternoon, I drove to Hobbycraft in Havant and bought the items I'd need to create my flying stairs... I ended up buying two packets of ¾" cubes of pre-cut wood, a packet of feathers and some wood glue. On Sunday morning I built the structure and took several different photographs of it suspended from our washing line (didn't think it would be able to take your weight - Ed). Anyway, tonight I managed to complete the whole idea, using an image I took in Dubrovnik earlier in the year which made a perfect backdrop for the flying stairs.
If you click on the image above, you'll be able to view a whole host of other strange photographs I've created.

Sunday 22nd November 2009 12:17

Today was Damien's birthday, so it all seemed absolutely perfect that both Bolton and Portsmouth were both playing Premiership matches today and both games were being televised on Sky Sports 1. So, to make it a proper day of football, we all made sure that there was plenty and beer and wine knocking about. Tanya had planned to cook a vegetarian Lasagne and we'd bought snacks as well. We were all set for a good day... well, that was the plan.

bolton wanderers v blackburn rovers

The first match was a 13:30 kick-off at Bolton's home, the Reebok, against local rivals, Blackburn Rovers and both teams were desperate for a win... goal attempts were almost level and Bolton hit the crossbar from a 40 yard deflected shot by Matt Taylor... seconds later, after a quick counter-attack by Blackburn, David Dunn, who had sprinted the length of the pitch, curled an absolutely superb shot past Jussi Jaaskelainen who managed to get his fingertips on to it, just not enough to stop it going in. It didn't seem too bad going in to the break only 0-1 down.
Bolton seemed to be trying everything in their power to claw back, only they lacked the creativity and flair... and then things became even worse. In the 73rd minute there was an embarrasingly dreadful mix-up between Bolton defender, Sam Ricketts and 'keeper Jasskelainen when Ricketts thought he was heading a Brett Emerton cross back to safety, only Jasskelainen had come out to retrieve it, resulting in them both looking on in disbelief as to ball went straight in the net from around 20 yards out. The game ended 0-2 to the visitors. What a fuck up.

stoke city v portsmouth

So, could Pompey improve on the day with their 16:00 kick-off at Stoke City's Britannia Stadium? It was a feisty start from both teams, Pompey with a much-needed win and sure enough, in the eighth minute, the visitors were awarded a penalty after a dreadfully high-footed challenge by Rory Delap on Pompey's Aruna Dindane. Unfortunately, Kevin Prince Boateng was total bollocks, I could have put more power behind a shot if I'd kicked it with my arse. Something was telling us that it just wasn't going to be our day for football. At least the game stood at 0-0 and did so right up until ex-Pompey player, Ricardo Fuller, managed to curl a shot past Pompey 'keeper, Jamie Ashdown, in the 74th minute. It's ridiculous though, Pompey had more shots on target, committed less fouls, had better passing and tackling success and a good deal more possession, yet they lost 1-0. Bollocks.

Well, on the plus side, at least we weren't Wigan Athletic who suffered a 9-1 defeat at Tottenham's White Hart Lane. Suddenly I felt somewhat better about the whole day.

Saturday 21st November 2009 10:28

Tanya had tried to order our weekly shopping online last night, yet Tesco seem to have introduced a stupid password verification policy so, after years of there being no hiccups, we were suddenly faced with avoidable problems. Tesco, nor Tanya's bank seemed the slightest bit interested in even attempting to sort it out. In return, we were faced with a ridiculous and unnecessary journey to a supermarket, bearing in mind that it was less than five weeks to Christmas (yes, I had to use the dreaded word).

After a traumatic visit to ASDA, we finally escaped, leaving many imbeciles and their families behind... the place attracts a certain breed of person, one which I find difficult to relate to. Once home, we unpacked and did very little else for the rest of the day, although I did have an idea for a photograph, the idea coming courtesy of a thread on PhotoPortal... more about that soon.

fontsy.com

Since today wasn't filled with any sort of excitement, I thought I'd include a customary link to a free font website, especially as I had earmarked this for earlier in the month. Many of these websites seem to be getting much of a muchness, yet there appear to be several fonts included within their 4000+ database that are definitely different, so it may be worth having a look at what they have to offer.
Please click on the logo above to visit their website.

Friday 20th November 2009 09:57

Manic. That's what today was. Having said that though, I did manage to complete many bits and bobs that had been niggling me and chewing away at my conscience. One of the jobs I managed to complete was for a company that had been bought out and wanted to keep the name, just change the logo.
Whenever I design a logo, I always look at five aspects of it...
1) The initials of the name and whether they can be combined into a pleasing graphic...
2) The company name and whether it strikes a chord design-wise (quite often, company names bear little or no relevance to what they actually do)...
3) What the company does and whether a relevant graphic element can be introduced...
4) The colours of the design, purely because certain colours are only suitable for certain sectors...
5) What fonts work with the design.
Obviously, if all five work together, you have achieved perfection!

zenith travel

Anyway, as you can see, the company name was Zenith Travel, so I chose to concentrate on the word zenith which has a few meanings, all closely related; highest, powerful, successful, crest, summit and peak - to name a few. I then decided to introduce the feeling of travelling and going in a positive direction. The letter 'Z' gave me a the 'route' of an arrow and also allowed me to incorporate a fun element to it, almost like a space age comic design.
Thankfully, they absolutely loved it. To see more of my logo designs, please click on the logo above.

Thursday 19th November 2009 20:30

So, Gary Barlow does it again... earlier this year, he planned a trip with nine other celebrities to climb Kilimanjaro, in aid of Comic Relief, which proved to be very successful; this year, he'd put together a concert staged by BBC Children in Need at the Royal Albert Hall, shown on television tonight. He's quickly becoming the modern-day equivalent of Sir Bob Geldof.

royal albert hall

The extravaganza included some great acts; Snow Patrol and Muse being the best of the bunch... Leona Lewis and Dizzee Rascal being utter tosh. Nevertheless, it was an enjoyable hour of television... Cheryl Cole being the major eye candy of the night.
What I was rather shocked about is that Children in Need is celebrating its 30th year of raising money for the youngsters who desperately need support.
More information about The Royal Albert Hall and other up-and-coming performances can be found by clicking the logo above.

Wednesday 18th November 2009 17:57

Today, I'm going to talk about something that has been around since September 1998 and is one of the most essential aspects of modern day technology - that of course is Bluetooth. In a nutshell, it's an open wireless protocol for exchanging data over short distances from fixed and mobile devices, creating personal area networks (PANs). It was originally conceived that this would be a wireless alternative to RS-232 data cables and can connect several devices using short length radio waves, thus overcoming problems of synchronisation.

bluetooth

The particular radio waves Bluetooth technology uses is called a frequency-hopping spread spectrum which breaks up the data being sent and transmits chunks of it on up to 79 frequencies. It provides a way to connect and exchange information between devices such as mobile phones, telephones, laptops, computers, printers, Global Positioning System (GPS) receivers as well as many video game consoles. In fact my Mighty Mouse (Apple Mac) uses Bluetooth technology.

So, where does the name come from? Well, it originally started as the code name for the association and the name stuck. The name 'Bluetooth' is from 10th century Danish King Harald Blatand which translates to Harold Bluetooth in English.
To find out more, please click on the logo above.

Tuesday 17th November 2009 16:07

Had an unexpectedly good email last night... our mate Sam, a fellow photographer from the PhotoPortal had been asked by his work to do some photography in Chichester. He'd suggested meeting up with us once he had finished. Trouble was, we had Camera Club tonight which meant that we were pushed for time so, rather than meet him there, we met him in Emsworth and had arranged that he join us for the evening at Havant Camera Club.

We had the obligatory walk around the Mill Pond and caught up on things (What? Like fishing nets? - Ed). It was still relatively early to go and buy some fish and chips so we stopped off at The Blue Bell Inn for a coffee which meant that we could also defrost from the bitterly cold wind. Of all the times that Sam could have arranged to visit us, it happened to be within the three days that Mother Kelly's in Emsworth was closed for refurbishment. Typical.

ycaro

We ended up having to drive to Whistler's fish and chip shop in Westbourne to satisfy our hunger and then drove home to eat our evening meal which was thoroughly enjoyed with a bottle of wine that Sam had kindly brought down with him.
He worked out that he was spending in the region of £20/month on wine and decided to subscribe to Virgin Wines where he'd been guaranteed on getting value for his money. The particular wine we were enjoying was a Chilean one, Ycaro Sauvignon Blanc, D.O. Bio-Bio Valley 2008. I'm no wine connoisseur but for a dry wine, I found this very refreshing, smooth and full of fruitiness... very enjoyable indeed.
Please click on the wine label above if you're interested in buying the wine direct from Virgin Wines.

Monday 16th November 2009 08:34

i love typography

Isn't just a simple statement from me, it's also a superb website, full of informative stuff about fonts. It covers the history of typography, it has an article about how to create fonts, the best fonts of last year, choosing the right type and much more. It even has a font wall and... wait for it... a font game! As a matter of interest, I scored a modest 27 out of 34 and did stand at 15th place out of 30,604 other scores that had been submitted (they're updated every 24 hours).
The site is ran by a British graphic designer, John Boardley, who now lives in Japan and, annoyingly, his passion for fonts seems to far outweigh mine... nevertheless, click on the logo above and enjoy!

Sunday 15th November 2009 12:56

For quite some time now, I've wanted to photograph the array of bottle tops I've saved from the real ales I have drank. Annoyingly, some breweries don't have them manufactured, although I suspect that many can only just about afford to have their labels printed, particularly as microbreweries are on the rise.

beer monster greene king 'hop' st peters brewery lakeland ales titanic brewery duchy ales sharps brewery white shield charles wells brewery badger ale 'long days' o'hanlons brewing co ltd newcastle brown ale shepherd neame 'bishops finger' brakspear beers fullers 'discovery' badger brewery robinsons family brewers badger ale 'poacher's choice' fuller's 'london pride' brew dog 'dogma' badger ales 'tanglefoot' guinness fuller smith and turner plc caledonian brewery 'deuchars ipa' river cottage 'stinger ale' brains brewery bath ales batemans 'dark lord' atlas brewery william bros brewing co batemans 'combined harvest' the orkney brewery wells bombardier morland 'old speckled hen' fuller smith and turner plc purity brewing co blue moon brewing co batemans 'victory ale' zeitgeist beer marston's beer company hook norton brewery greene king plc fuller's '1845' adnams of southwold meantime brewing manns beer courage 'directors' ruddles ales fuller's 'golden pride' hopback brewery 'spitfire' premium kentish ale george gale and co ltd wychwood brewery timothy taylor innis and gunn shepherd neame fuller's 'esb' wadworth brewdog 'punk ipa' greene king 'st edmunds' young's brewery joseph holt daniel thwaites batemans 'triple xb'

This photograph will also enable me to log which top belongs to which brewery, even though some will be more than obvious than others (click on each relevant bottle top to visit the brewery's website - top two lines complete!)

angels and demons

Later on in the day, we just sat down and chilled out to finally watch 'Angels and Demons', the second novel by Dan Brown to make the widescreen. Directed by Ron Howard, it stars Tom Hanks, Ewan McGregor and Ayelet Zurer. A brief synopsis of the film would be that Havard symbologist, Robert Langdon (Hanks), works to solve a murder and prevent a terrorist act against the Vatican.
To visit the website of the movie and find out more, please click on the poster above.

Saturday 14th November 2009 12:45

Since we completed a major new website for the entire district of Hampshire East Girl Guiding last year, we'd been invited, as special guests, to attend their Centenary County Day, held at the Admiral Lord Nelson School in Portsmouth.
It was an incredibly well-attended event with no fewer than ten Lord Mayors attending it, along with various Councillors and many others with official posts within the Girl Guiding organisation. I have to say, I felt a bit of a lemon in a predominantly female environment, especially as the majority were 12 or under. Having said that though, what some of them, including the Brownies, achieve is remarkable and, even though I felt completely out of my comfort zone, it was a very enjoyable afternoon, particularly as there was a free lunch as well.
I very much doubt that any readers of my blog would be remotely interested in the Girl Guiding website, nevertheless, I feel at liberty to provide a link below.

girl guiding centenary

Later on, I chose to top up my testosterone by watching the football match between Brazil v England in an International Friendly that was played at Doha in Qatar. England were without some major key players, except for Wayne Rooney so the fact that they were playing the most successful national football team in the history of the World Cup looked as if it could be a daunting task. Brazil have been World Cup winners on five occasions; 1958, 1962, 1970, 1994 and 2002 and is the only team in history to have ever played in every World Cup.
Strangely enough, even though Brazil showed flair at times, they only managed to create just one goal from a muddled England defence, although it was a sublime pass from Elano and an equivalently superb header from Nilmar in the 47th minute that ended up separating the two teams with the game ending 1-0 to Brazil. My masculinity was intact once more.

brazil v england

Friday 13th November 2009 19:30

Today started off in typical Friday 13th fashion... everything seemed to be going tits up and the journey home made it even worse. It took me 1 hour and 10 minutes to drive just over 14 miles... on a scale of 1 to pissed off... I was very.

chichester festival theatre

Nevertheless, it did mean that the day was over half way through and it had been as bad as it could be. Tonight, we had tickets for 'Belly Laughs Live' at the Chichester Festival Theatre. Ordinarily, we wouldn't have even thought about booking to see anything like this, it's just that one of Tanya's colleagues, Cathy, had already bought them, yet due to unforeseen circumstances, she wasn't able to make it and asked Tanya if we'd like to go instead.
Even though I'd had the opportunity to read about the acts and found that most had had television appearances on at least one of the comedy-based panel shows, neither of us had any real idea of what to expect.
More about up-and-coming events and productions at the Chichester Festival Theatre can be found by clicking on the logo above.

underbelly

The whole show was organised by Underbelly, a UK-based live entertainment company that currently run major venues, both at the Edinburgh and Brighton fringe festivals. Their management, promotions and productions specialises in comedy and looks after a stable of excellent comedians as well as organising tours for other events.
To find out more please click on the upside down cow...

lucy porter

The MC for the night, Andre Vincent... like a miniature version of Phill Jupitus and just as funny. He's fast becoming one of the UK's most popular comedians and has had three sell-out runs at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival as well as countless radio shows.
He announced Lucy Porter as the first act, a veteran of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival whose act is a great mix of both topical and observational stand-up. The pint-sized comedienne has been a guest on such shows as 'Mock The Week', 'Never Mind The Buzzcocks' and '8 out of 10 Cats'. She was very funny and had an endearingly laddish approach to her comedy.
Please click on her logo above to find out much more.

andrew maxwell

Next up was Andrew Maxwell and although every act had us both in stitches, this naturally funny man from Belfast was by far the best act of the night. He's crude, lewd, brash and quite sick... a perfect recipe for comedy in my opinion. He's Channel 4's 'King of Comedy' and has won and been nominated for several awards such as, 'Edinburgh Comedy Award for Best Show', a 'Time Out Live Award' in the category of Best Stand-up and a Loaded Magazine Award for 'Best Stand-up and Chortle Award' giving the best contribution to the live comedy circuit.
To find out more about one of the country's most sought after comedians, click on his logo above.

After the 20-minute interval, Pete Cain was the next comedian to enjoy a ten minute slot and his sense of humour was excellently subtle, even though it held no punches. At the moment, both Pete and the last act of the night, Jim Jefferies, are on tour together. Unfortunately, Pete doesn't have a website for me to direct you which is a shame, particularly as The Independent wrote, "What an outstanding comic: sharp, inspired writing and he even looks funny" and Roger Cox of The Scotsman said, "Adopting a cleverly conceived Everyman anti-hero persona, Cain reasoned that, as all the world's problems are caused by overpopulation, the only logical solution is to start killing people, beginning with the 'morons'. Dark but delicious".

jim jefferies

The final act, Australian-born Jim Jefferies was very funny... possibly the most sexually explicit, funny nonetheless. His solo shows have filled venues at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival for six consecutive years. Currently on a 45 date UK tour, his shows aren't for the faint hearted. He's appeared on BBC1's 'Have I Got News For You' and BBC2's 'Never Mind The Buzzcocks'. A very funny man indeed.
Please click on his logo above to find out more... maybe even catch one of his UK dates...

Thursday 12th November 2009 17:37

Having completed Straightpoint's Price List this week, we had another project to complete - designing an email and then converting into HTML so it can be included within the main body of an email. I spent some time creating another 3D image to give the whole promotion a professional look. Please click on the image below to view it at full size.

straightpoint-liftex

Wednesday 11th November 2009 21:39

Seems strange that today was the first Remembrance Day where there weren't any survivors of the First World War alive. The three remaining men who were present last year, sadly died earlier this year. Even though I hate conflict and question why innocent people die gruesome, unnecessary deaths, you do have to admire the ones that fought for King and Country, even though the running of it has gone tits up ever since.

blackberry

Anyway, enough of the doom and gloom, I want to talk adverts... I want to talk adverts that have groovy music accompanying them... the one I love at the moment is for BlackBerry. Usually though, I detest cover versions... very few of them are any good... more about the song in a bit.
So, for those of you who still think Elvis is alive or live in caves, BlackBerry is a line of wireless mobile devices that were first launched back in 1999 as two-way pagers. Since then, they now support push email, mobile telephones, text messaging, internet faxing and web browsing, as well as other wireless information services.
Please click on the logo to find out much more about the international company.

grayson matthews

So, what's the song then? Well, as I said earlier, it's a cover version, a bloody superb cover version, by a music/sound design company called Grayson Matthews, which actually happens to be the name of the eccentric billionaire who owns the company based in Toronto's CN Tower.
To listen to the fantastic cover version of the Beatles' classic, 'All You Need Is Love', please click on the Grayson Matthews logo above, or click here to visit their website.

Tuesday 10th November 2009 16:33

Surprisingly, there's a company out there who appreciate my warped sense of humour, whether it's being plain sick or taking the piss out of someone or something.
Over a course of months, the Iffyton newletters that I have read have always been very witty, none more so than when they go right for the Labour Party's jugular or take the piss out of northerners (even though I am one).

iffyton high street

Back in September, you may remember me talking about a t-shirt I'd designed which had the statement, 'What a load of cu*ts'. Well, since the humour of Iffyton seemed to match mine, I decided to contact them in the hope that they may be interested in having the design as one of their stock t-shirts... they have since agreed to sell six of my designs... much to my delight.
To view the whole range of t-shirts they sell, please click on the logo above.

cook cost a fortune the brown stuff
smell of piss sheer twat postman twat

They have also included a short piece about me within this month's blog...
We have six brand new tshirt designs today and very different to our normal ones. They're on launch offer of just £6 each. Some aren't safe for work so we didn't put them on this email! If your boss doesn't mind the odd swear word, go ahead and pay us a visit! All of the new designs were created by Ian Gregory, he can be found on his blog here. If you think you have the talent to create designs, drop us a line.
Small thumbnails of each one of my designs can be seen above, click on any one of them to take you to the page where you can order that particular design.

Monday 9th November 2009 11:10

Made a quick 'phone call to BCL (Bolton Colour Laboratory) to make sure that the two prints I'll be entering into the second league competition at Havant Camera Club would be being despatched tonight. The news was good, especially as I'd made sure that they were going to be sent via Royal Mail Special Delivery... after all, I wouldn't for one minute expect them to turn up on time via any other method.

arm chair bolt out of the blue

As to whether they're going to be successful, come the judging of them next week, remains to be seen. My last two prints bombed out big time, nevertheless, they're prints I like and a judge's opinion of them won't change my mind.
Click on either of the thumbnails above to view the larger images.

Sunday 8th November 2009 16:00

Literally did nothing today, the weather was awful and it was only until dusk that the sun decided to tease everyone before disappearing in the autumnal sky.

hull city v stoke city

Having said that though, it gave me an opportunity to watch two Premiership games, both shown on Sky Sports 1. The first was Hull City v Stoke City, the former being one of the more recent squads to grace the top flight, narrowly avoiding relegation last year by just one point. The latter being one of the three teams to join the Premiership this season.
Phil Brown, Hull's manager, has been under severe scrutiny for some weeks now, only managing to gain just seven points since August, Stoke on the other hand have had relatively decent success despite them being labelled one of the underdogs and tipped for going straight back down. The game finished 2-1 in Hull's favour and was an enjoyable match to watch.

chelsea v manchester utd

A 4 o'clock kick-off started the second match at Stamford Bridge, home of Chelsea FC, against Premiership Champions, Manchester United. I was expecting a fast-flowing game and that's exactly what it turned out to be. Apart from some serious misjudgments by both referee and linesmen, the game was filled with master class play from both squads, particularly Chelsea's Nikolas Anelka (ex-Bolton player, I hasten to add). The game was concluded with just one goal by Chelsea defender, John Terry, meaning that the 1-0 win now puts Chelsea five points clear at the top, although Arsenal do have a game in hand and could bridge the gap to just two points.

Saturday 7th November 2009 09:38

Since it was such a beautiful morning, Tanya and I chose to go for a long walk. So headed from our house down to Warblington and then along the coastline to Langstone, finally finishing off with a walk to Havant, stopping off at Damien's and enticing him out for a short walk. His knee isn't fully recovered which has meant he's been almost grounded for two weeks, so any bit of exercise and fresh air is a bonus.

the spring

Afterwards, we all decided to have some lunch in the newly refurbished Havant Arts Centre and Museum, which is now known as 'The Spring Arts and Heritage Centre'. At first, I thought 'shit name', and in some respects, I still do, although it does represent Havant rather well.
Now you might ask, did one of its ancestors invent the spring? No. Was Zebedee of Magic Roundabout stardom born there? No. Is it the only known town in the United Kingdom to only ever have one season? No, don't be stupid. In actual fact, it's because Havant's history and fortunes are closely related to its many natural springs and streams.
To find out more about the centre, please click on the logo above.

xbox

From there, we headed back to Damien's for the rest of the afternoon where we were also joined by Jamie, Damien's mate, and we chilled out, chatted, kept an eye on the football scores, although we wish we hadn't, particularly as Bolton suffered a 5-1 defeat against Aston Villa and Pompey suffered a 3-1 defeat against Blackburn Rovers, despite going 0-1 in front.
Other than that, Tanya and I were introduced to the X-Box, something that has never had any sort of prevalence in either of our lives. Not only that, I don't think it ever will, although FIFA '09 (or whatever it's called) has superb graphics... saying that though, not one of the Bolton squad looks remotely like their counterpart!
For more information about X-Box and the games available, please click on the logo above.

Friday 6th November 2009 18:29

Today's blog is actually about blogs and bloggers. Fuelmyblog is an online community with over 20,000 bloggers, me being one of the latest recruits. You can submit your blog under a specific category and then fellow members, or just the general internet population can then vote on your blog, by either 'fueling' it or 'snuffing it'. Within the site, there's a Fuelmyblog blog, various widgets that you can add to your website, Blog of the Day and much more.

fuel my blog

As well as that, the bloggers on the site also have the opportunity to review products, they aren't paid to do so, nor are there any boundaries with regards to what you choose to write, so you're looking at totally honest opinions. The products that have been reviewed so far aren't exactly shit ones either... reviews of EMI, Johnson & Johnso, Sky, Sony and Skechers are testimony to that.
At the moment, I'm collaborating with the site's owner on another project... all will be revealed next week, so, for the moment, please click on the logo above to vote for me (no pressure) or to just find out more about the site.

Thursday 5th November 2009 16:54

Ever since my sister bought me my first mobile phone back in 1999, I've been with Vodafone. Since then, I've been on Pay As You Go and contract, both of which have suited my needs at the time, even though some bills have been higher than Robert Wadlow's hats. Anyway, yesterday, I received a 'phone call saying that my contract had expired and what would I be interested in as an offer.

vodafone

Well, I already had unlimited free texts (and believe me, the amount of jokes I send, I need it) and I had 300 minutes talk time (not that I ever use them... with me, it's more a case of, "Yeah, okay, see you later"). So, having thought about it, I thought I'd ask about internet connection, especially as there are times where I get particularly pissed off about not being able to find out football results... so, for the same price, I now have unlimited internet access. Now that's what I call cool bean bollocks.
To get the same cool deal, or even better, click the logo above.

Wednesday 4th November 2009 06:32

How spooky... I end up talking about famous animated entertainment, two days on the trot, although today's twosome are far younger compared with the Clangers.
Twenty years ago today, Nick Park unveiled Wallace and Gromit to the Arnolfini gallery in Bristol, England. The playful, 22-minute short 'A Grand Day Out' debuted as part of an animation festival which Channel 4 transmitted at 6pm on Christmas Eve, the following year (1990).

wallace and gromit

So, who are Wallace and Gromit? Essentially, they are animated stop motion clay models, created by Nick Park (also famous for Creature Comforts) and have starred in four 30-minute films, 'A Grand Day Out' being the first in 1989. Since then, there have been 'The Wrong Trousers' (1993), 'A Close Shave' (1995) and 'A Matter of Loaf and Death (2008). In between the last two, a feature-length film, 'The Curse of the Were-Rabbit' was released in 2005.
Wallace is an absent-minded geeky inventor from Wigan in Lancashire (could so easily have been Bolton, literally 10 miles west of my home town) who also has a huge enthusiasm for cheese, particularly Wensleydale. His sidekick and companion, Gromit, is a human-like dog, far more intelligent than Wallace. Seasoned actor, Peter Sallis, provides the voices for all the characters, although Gromit never speaks, yet his facial expressions and body language do all the talking he needs.

The stars have been that successful that they were unanimously voted as being international icons of modern British culture and were described as 'some of the best-known and best-loved stars to come out of the UK'. 'Icons', a site I talked about on May 9th last year, described them as having done 'more to improve the image of the English worldwide than any officially appointed ambassadors'. Goes without saying really.
To visit their birthday website, please click on the two characters above.

Tuesday 3rd November 2009 17:26

Standing upright on big flappy feet, the small, bright pink, long-nosed mouse-like race known as the Clangers were ironically discovered in the same year as Man landed on the Moon. Communication was made with a series of whistling sounds, most of which were high pitched (click here for a sample) and they also let it be known when sad or distressed by pulling their ears over their eyes.

clangers

The Clangers live inside a series of tunnels and caves on a small blue cratered planet (some say it was a star) with each 'opening' being protected by a metal lid which protects them from both the cold and numerous objects that land on the planet from outer space. Sharing the planet with the Clangers are other creatures such as the Soup Dragon, who lives in the soup well and provides the Clangers with green soup. Providing necessary light within the caves are the Glow Buzzers who also produce Glow Honey, a tasty treat for the bright pink creatures.

All in all, the Clangers are a very caring species who are totally non-violent and non-confrontational. They enjoy life to the maximum, eating blue string pudding, watering various plants with the Cloud and sending radio signals to the Iron Chicken, a strange-looking bird that has travelled to the furthest galaxies and knows just about everyone in space. She is superb at making things and gathers loads of scrap iron and machinery on her travels.
There are many more things to learn about the Clangers and their amazing way of life, please click on the logo above.

Monday 2nd November 2009 14:44

Even though we've managed perfectly with a 2MB broadband connection for a good number of years, it was only until Damien (Tanya's brother) alerted us to the fact that Virgin Media (was once Cable & Wireless and NTL) continually update their packages in order to attract new business. Good on them for doing so, I admire how businesses look at new ways of doing so. What I don't admire is how loyalty seems to mean fuck all these days. Surely if you're a large corporate business, it's as beneficial to keep hold of what you have as well attract new business? Obviously not... just as well Damien is clued up on what they have to offer.

virgin media

I suppose though, in Virgin Media's defence, it would cost an absolute fortune to alert every single existing customer about their latest deals which, in turn, would probably threaten future deals - in which case, my rant is dismissed. Anyway, we ended up saving ourselves money even though we now have a 10MB broadband connection and finally have ESPN, the world's largest sports channel which ended up replacing Setanta Sports. Bargain.
To find out more about Virgin Media's great deals, please click on the logo above.

Sunday 1st November 2009 23:10

Having had an incredibly frantic day yesterday, we'd decided that today be a day of rest. We did very little indeed apart from catch up with some television programmes we'd missed and fart about on our computers.

Later on in the night, just as we'd decided to hit the sack, we noticed a programme devoted to none other than Fleetwood Mac, a highly successful British-American rock band formed in 1967 in London. After Peter Green had left British blues band, John Mayall and The Bluesbreakers, he asked drummer, Mick Fleetwood to join him and a new band he'd already named 'Fleetwood Mac', as a way to entice bassist, John McVie. The band then had several members, one namely Christine Perfect who went on to marry John McVie. They went through a major transitional period between 1970-1975, even though they had become one of the most popular bands in Europe at the time. They finally hit major mainstream success in 1975, with the addition of two new members, Lindsey Buckingham and his then girlfriend Stephanie 'Stevie' Nicks.

fleetwood mac

'Rumours', released in 1977, was their most successful album to date, almost a diary of emotional events where John and Christine's marriage broke down, Mick Fleetwood was in the midst of a divorce from his wife Jenny and somewhere along the line, Fleetwood ended up having an affair with Nicks. The majority of the tracks could almost be construed as 'digs' at each victim of marriage... 'Go Your Own Way' was written by Lindsey Buckingham as a message to Stevie Nicks to which Nicks retaliated with 'You Make Loving Fun' when she had an affair with the lighting director on one particular tour. Needless to say, they opted to leave 'Suck Cocks in Hell' off the album. A wise decision I think.

I've been fortunate enough to see them live on two occasions, both at Manchester City's old football ground, Maine Road. The first was in 1987 on their 'Shake The Cage' tour, the second, 'The Tango Tour', a year later. To say they're brilliant is an understatement.
For much more information about the dynamic band, please click on the logo above.

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